The past few weeks have been just chock-full of run ins with people who are just plain dumber than rocks. Perhaps my nerves were a bit frayed, what with the anniversary of Eliza's due date and her coming home date, both not-so-subtle reminders of my complete inability to keep Eliza safely in my uterus for 9 stinking months. Then again, maybe my recent runs really are proof that the village idiots have taken over the village.
In an effort to help Eliza "socialize" with other toddlers I have enrolled her in a few toddler classes. Now when Eliza is overwhelmed by life, in particular by certain sounds, she sort of moans repetitively. So here we are in one of these toddler classes when lo and behold some sound set off Eliza's sensory overload button and the moaning began. As I was trying to soothe her I heard this whiny-Carmella-Soprano-style voice say "Oh she's retarded isn't she?" I slowly turn my head to the metallic sound of this voice and am barely able to utter "what did you say?" Carmella (who also looked as if she had a taken a page from the Amy Whinehouse school of make up) advised that the only children she had ever heard make such a moaning sound were "retarded." Now I am no shrinking violet but I was so shocked by her commentary that I picked up Eliza, left the class and walked the half mile home crying like a blithering idiot.
It did take me several days to recover my senses and to realize I was not going to let this overdone Carmella win. So I took the photo of Eliza at 8 days old, by then weighing less than a pound, in the palm of the nurse's hand, with me to the next class. I asked for a moment of everyone's time before we began. This generated an exaggerated eye-roll from Carmella. I told the parents what had happened the week prior and why Eliza and I had left so abruptly. This was met with a resounding "who the hell said that" from everyone ... except Carmella. I told the group I was not interested in publicly humiliating the offending parent. Within a few seconds though it was pretty apparent that Carmella was the village idiot. The rest of the class was awed by the progress Eliza has made and stood in disbelief that she ever could have been so tiny. We were welcomed by the group, moaning sounds and all.
Oh and the following week ... Carmella was no where to be found. Hopefully she is back under the rock where she came from, surrounded by her cadre of village idiots and that she will never darken my door again.
Now really... who would you rather spend the afternoon with: