Eliza Grace was born on March 15, 2006, at 26 weeks, 4 days, weighing 1 pound 4 ounces and measuring just 11.5 inches long. She is the light of my soul and this is the story of our life in the big city.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

3640

No, there are no cute Memorial Day photos of Eliza happily enjoying a barbecue. There is very little Eliza enjoyed about this weekend. The ill-fated trip to Toys R Us on Saturday resulted in a two our screaming, crying meltdown. Today's attempt to attend a barbecue was likewise not "well received." When she does have one of these meltdowns through her tears she says "don't cry," go figure. Actually Eliza was quite content to sit in the car in the driveway, but that seemed to defeat the purpose of attending a holiday function. While our hosts and other guests repeatedly told me they didn't "mind" the screaming and thrashing about, they were a bit nonplussed when I pointed out that neither I nor Eliza were enjoying this which was really why we were leaving. Protestations to the contrary I am sure they breathed a collective sigh of relief when we left early.

So what does the above number mean?

Nope, not the winning Take 4 number. Not the last four digits oif my social security number. A very respectable year of billing at a big law firm? Wrong again. It is the number of hours of therapy Eliza has attended since leaving the NICU almost 3 years ago. This does not include the number of hours spent getting evaluated by some therapaist or doctor, or the hours spent in a doctor's office.

What do we really have to show for this? Eliza can't eat any food more difficult or comlex than half an oreo (no cream). She is three and cannot navigate steps on her own. She can't remotely dress or undress herself. She can't attend any gathering with more than 3 people. She can't really say more than a few phrases (although bless her heart she knows the difference between an alpaca and a llama). Would she have been in the exact same spot but have been a happier kid without all of this?

That is the 3,640 dollar question, now isn't it?

4 comments:

The Truames said...

Oh, Ann, I wish I knew what to say or do to help you through this low spot. I can only imagine how hard it must feel to count up all those hours (not including transport!) that Eliza and you have put into what amounts to her 3/4 time "job." i know you celebrate all the time all she can do. and it is still so hard. we're rooting for you. Please know that. you're an awesome mom and eliza is an awesome girl and we love you.

Anne, Eliza Grace's mom said...

Thanks guys! Your comments always make me feel better about life. :)

(My adventure today of spewing my iced coffee on the crazed socialite also improved my mood!)

Eliza had a great day today. A wee meltdown at the playground, but otherwise a happy little girl enjoying her Aunt Bonnie blowing bubbles and Nana spoiling her all afernoon.

nanamarine said...

Was it a Starbuck's Mocha Latte that ended up on the socialite? Pray tell me that it was indeed??
Yes, Memorial Day is day to remember those we have lost in Battle and so we should. We should also look around and celebrate how far this little girl and her amazing Mom have come. I wish I had a Medal!
My love to you both.
Always,
Ida

Robin Elizabeth said...

Sounds so much like Elizabeth. As I was dressing her for school this morning, I was thinking, why am I still doing this? But our girls are very smart, snd 10 years from now we will be kicking ourselves for worrying so much.