But my lungs tell me to rest. This was Eliza's own commentary tonight on her frequent coughing and shortness of breath. It is sad to hear her say this. And it is sad to know that after almost six years of pulmonology appointments and breathing treatments, there is no end in sight to it. Tonight Eliza also told me that she thought music would help her lungs. I have no idea where she got this idea, but given the failure of everything else to help her lungs, it could be worth a try.
It is hard to hear your six year old sound defeated. It is hard to hear her say that she has to rest during Physical Education or Tai Kwon Do because her lungs need to rest. It is hard to know that this is all because my body failed to carry her for a full nine months. It is hard for her to know that people don't understand that she isn't coughing because of a cold, but because she trying to catch her breath. It is hard for her to hear her friends tell her she is gross because she produces an astonishing amount of mucous and when she sneezes, well it can be an impressive sight. It is hard to hear her ask when the coughing will stop and not having an answer.
I know that other kids have a much harder journey.
But it is still hard for my little Eliza.